17th March 2007 - SL 9 days - L$300

Newbie Blues

I am starting to wonder if I will ever make it through the Newbie phase and make it through the next few months without starving to death. I’ve been here over a week now and I still haven’t managed to scrape enough money together to rent a place let alone keep me in the style to which I have yet to become accustomed. Sometimes SL seems to be designed to highlight the grace of long termers and the gawkiness of those younger babes. Do all of the staircases here have to be so circular, with such sheer drops at the corners?

Would you click a person like this?

I seem to be far better at spending money than making it here and whilst perusing a book store which sells material on how to make just about everything, my paltry several hundred dollars seemed even more insignificant. Just a word here though, someone somewhere has some very strange priorities the book on how to make a house was L$200 but how to make hair was priced in excess of L$700; we need to think about this people – is flowing hair really that important? The answer is obviously yes, more important than having a place to live.

I wandered around all of the free places for a while just to see if there was possibly a free crate of rubbish that I hadn’t picked up in my inventory, when I managed to land in a casino – still haven’t managed to streamline the search facilities – when looking for jobs I keep ending up in strip clubs! I had a bit of luck, on the second turn of the machines I landed $L3000; had I managed to keep any of it I would have been set for the week. However spurred on by the continuing announcements of other very lucky winners in the club, I frittered away most of it. In fact there was only just enough to buy a new set of skin and some crimson trousers (just as well I don’t have to budget for food).

Even running all over the casino did not seem to help, some gentleman won 45,000L$, a fact that startled me so much that I managed to donate 20L$ to a stranger, who didn’t give it back – people just aren’t as honourable as you think. In fact apart from leaving me with just enough money to buy a manual on building things (still a toss up between hair and hats), I don’t think I’m going to make my fortune in the casinos.

My first proper job
Since my lottery ticket isn’t drawn for another week and the pyramid scheme has gone silent, I have to face facts I need a job with a regular income. After spectacularly failing to camp in several regions of second life (I swept parts of a warehouse, danced on a loop that wasn’t activated). I decided to go into advertising; I chose to wear a box on my body and walk around and ask people to click me. It was L$2 per click and it all started well – I spotted a guy with a 100 clicks and although this wouldn’t keep me in Jacuzzis and caviar, it felt like it would be some of the bills that I seem to be accruing. I hadn’t realised how difficult it is to go up to people and ask them to click you; rules are quite strict here as to where you can and can’t advertise. I wasn’t allowed to go into the clubs and so I wondered around various Newbie sites, in the hope that my peers would be sympathetic to my plight, and five of them were. Unfortunately, a gentle soul in a warehouse told me to “keep your stupid box” and pushed me off the ledge I was standing on. A second experience, where one of the gentlemen felt I was looking for more than a click, proved equally embarrassing and after cashing in my clicks for money ($L10 for half an hour’s work), I took my box off and started to nose around for other opportunities. I’ll let you know when I find them…

Tip for the day: When buying a skin make sure that you pick up a demo skin first off, as they are extremely expensive and once you have committed you can’t get a refund. Make sure that you know where your old skin has been failed in your inventory when trying on demo skins. These skins will come with demo tattooed on them and if you can’t remember where your old skin is, you may be forced to buy a new skin or walk around second life looking like an idiot. It happened to me, it could happen to you…

15th March 2007 - SL 7 days – $1,364L

Today is a momentous day in my second life, today is the day I start trying to earn serious cash, and I think I might be in trouble.....

Bad Body Day

I’m having a series of disagreements with my body at the moment. Yesterday I started the seemingly innocuous task of trying to take a snapshot of myself. What should have been a two second click of the camera, turned into a battle of wills. For reasons best known to my body each time I took a photo I randomly shoved my arm or (more worryingly) my leg straight up in the air and would not take it down until the camera was switched off. I have a photo of sorts, only because I discovered the alt button, (hold it and rotate yourself) works almost like magic. As a beginner the snapshot is not always the easiest to control, be prepared to get a lot of photos of scenery and the side of your face.

By the way I’d like to pass on a message to my fellow second lifers, if you do encounter a newbie with the aforementioned limb control problems, can you and your friends not choose that moment to start conversations with them via instant messenger? It is hard to be sociable when your foot is repeatedly kicking your head.

After making a bit of a show of myself, I did what any self respecting Newbie should do, I straightened myself out and teleported immediately out of there to anywhere. At random I ended up having another look at the Freebie warehouse. Absent mindedly stroking a dog turned my body against me for a second time. I stalked the dog's every move at breakneck pace, very much against my will. Wherever the dog ran, I followed; in fact I am very lucky not to be digging up bones as we speak. Of course normality eventually resumed but my stroking pet days are over.

Just before I started on the path to earn an honest crust, I teleported into a club for a few moves. It seemed to be staffed by ex prison guards. Not only did I get shoved off the stage (just because I wasn’t staff and was scaring the customers with a loosely controlled shimmy) but one of the guards took my hair off and put it in my inventory, twice. Apparently you can slow a club down with too many extras and they get very stroppy if you don’t take off what they say, when they say it. Obviously in a state of shock (being bald in a public place doesn't agree with me), I panicked and took off my shoes, then I left the club backwards leaving my shoes behind. I feel like a learner driver at the moment, at the first sign of something unusual I automatically press the nearest thing, generally the detach button...

Camping out

The phenomenon of camping abounds in Second Life. It’s a way of doing nothing and earning a few Lindens every few minutes. Generally this idleness is paired with gambling on games, the longer you gamble the more you get allegedly. A couple of nights this didn’t work out so well for me and I lost 20 Lindens in a matter of seconds, you need to watch out for that. Yesterday evening I discovered a place where they pay you to sunbathe, unfortunately it is only 2 Lindens per ten minutes. I’m not the most patient person and kept standing up, which overrode the money making animation and set my camping clock back to zero. So after half an hour of much twitching I made 2 Lindens, it didn’t even cover the money I lost in the seaside arcades. But you shouldn’t just take my word for it, the man next to me made 120 Linden dollars and it only took him ten hours to do it – I mean, really, who has that kind of time?

Pyramid and other investments

After a bit of soul searching, I have now realised that I will have to wait at least another week before I can expect to be taken seriously when applying for jobs. So I have resorted, initially at least, to get rich quick schemes. I have finally got my hands on a pyramid, apparently if you hand over 20 Lindens, it's a license to print money. Well, I am sure it said something like that in the instructions. Since I got a bit carried away in the gambling hall I am hoping someone clicks on my pyramid soon. I wouldn't want you to think that I am a foolish investor, I also bought a lottery ticket (at least I think that's what I did) so fingers crossed it could be me.

Tomorrow I think that I am going to buy a new skin, nothing too blue or foxlike, but I need a new shape to stretch around in. I'm hoping it will make all the difference in landing that dream job, just in case my current investments don't yield enough to support me for the next month.

Tip for the day

When you join a group, sometimes an “amusing” catch phrase appears over your head. These things can say a lot more about you than you may wish them to. Just purchasing some hair, meant that I had “tickle me” over my head for three days. Most people seemed a lot more forward with those words as an encouragement. Now that I have “I love learning” following me around, people are giving me a bit of space on the dance floor. I guess that's because, unless I buy a Newbie placard and return to my nose kicking antics, I couldn’t proclaim my Newbieness any louder.

SL age: 5 days old on March 12th, L$ 1,120

New Kid in Town
Sunset Rossini

Second life appears to be two very different worlds, one is filled with people striding through their multi-storey offices, making million Linden dollar deals all flowing hair and Armani suits and the other is inhabited by people walking around with boxes stuck to their heads and a confused look on their faces. I am afraid that as a second lifer babe in arms, I am currently wedged in the second less glamorous lifestyle.

Over the next few weeks I plan to drag you all along with me in the vain hope that my suffering will bring hope to all those out there landing on their faces each time they teleport to a new location. To all of those you Newbies out there reading this paper for the first time, take heart we’re all making the same mistakes. For those of you are into your tenth skin by now, give me a break I’ve had a tough day.

Crash Landing

After leaving the tutorial early, not through choice more through clumsiness, I landed in a lake in a beach club on day one. After ten minutes or so I emerged, with the desire for free stuff but not, apparently, the ability to walk without waddling. I did treat myself to a new sexy walk a few days later. Unfortunately I panicked in the last stages of the transaction and ended up with a “captives run”, so if I need to hang out on the darker side of town any time soon I’m well prepared.

Free stuff

A visit to all the freebie sites is a must for all newcomers to second life. Do remember to read the help on how to open your free box of stuff, there is nothing that says “new here” so loud as large cubes sticking out of your head, unless you happen to be totally bald and naked at the time that is (my third day).

Just a couple of words of warning, be wary of trying out new freebies in front of a live audience. After two days here I tried out as a dancer in a nightclub and activated my dancing for the first time. Not only did I emulate a chicken in various states of distress, I hadn’t bothered to find out how to turn the damn thing off, so despite pleas from the manager of the club to stop I was unable to do so. The only thing I could do was teleport out; I was still dancing three regions later.

To the person that thought that these dances were a good thing to give free to newcomers, you are a bad, bad person and when I stop falling down stairs I’m coming for you. To those of who dancing for the first time, take my advice and write ‘/99stop’ down, somewhere safe and practice first. Otherwise get used to being laughed at; be wary though - trauma can be expensive. I have now spent roughly $800 Lindens on getting new dances and backflips. True to Newbie form it took me a while to get the dance billboard off my head and boot up my ‘bootylicious’ moves. However when I did, aside from my hair shooting off (really can’t figure what that’s about) and causing the man next to me having to teleport out – I looked cool as ice. Think I’m ready to take it out to the clubs tomorrow.

Avoid overstocking up on free stuff

You don’t need it all, I have an inventory that desperately needs a spring clean after only five days, and I am not sure what most of it does. I’m planning to find a quiet space tomorrow evening and let loose with the mini arctic fox. I’ve decided to keep the sixty pairs of wings and the mud wresters outfit, you never know when I might pluck up the courage to shake my butt back to the club and see if I can impress the manager this time. I am probably going to have to let the “alien door pong” go, don’t know where it came from and I’m not sure that I want to know. Damn you free stuff, why must I keep collecting you?

Watch out for the balls

There are balls everywhere, some of them allow you to sit down and some of them allow you to do very naughty things. Be sure that you are ready for them. My friend spent a good twenty minutes necking with a phone box before he realised what was going on. It seemed funnier from my side. However what neither of us appreciated, was that he couldn’t snap out of it and three clubs later was gyrating so painfully, with his arms parallel to his head that he had to call it a night.

Making some money

As soon as you land, thoughts inevitably turn to money and how to make it. Be aware most places have a newbie-free recruitment policy. Although this can make you feel like a second-class citizen for a time, you soon see why. I’ve still not perfected the skill of walking round walls instead of through them – is it me or are they only solid when other people are watching you?

For people from the US, Hippie Banks offer an easy way to get some cash, not being from the US prompted me to try out as a gogo dancer, and we all know how that turned out. Luckily the people at the SL-Newspaper have taken pity for the time being but it is painfully obvious that I am going to need more cash. Since my spell at several of the casinos only reduced my meagre earnings, I am going to be forced to look at other means and that’s my aim for tomorrow, I do have my eye on some lotto tickets – a girl has got to keep herself in skins you know.


Having fun in second life

Looking on the bright side, and lets face it there are many here, where else do you get to weigh up if you want to buy a jar full of new eyeballs (a bargain at $10L)? Get to walk under water with sharks and speak to a zebra with a man’s head? In only a few days I no longer spend the majority of my time underwater and most of the time I can walk without falling off the side of a building – it’s an improvement of unparalleled proportions, believe me.

Just a quick note of apology, to the man I inadervently offended today by not replying in time. I was preoccupied by the realisation that I have been wearing two pairs of shoes at the same time all today. I’m sorry it would have been cool to be your friend too – spare a thought for us Newbies talking whilst embarrassed is a hard thing to do.

Tip for the day
Make sure you teleport standing up, if you teleport from lying down on a beach somewhere (as I did today) you end up lying around everywhere – sounds fun but makes moving around really difficult (and pairs up nicely with embarrassment).

a newbies guide to second life

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